[Intro]
[spoken, with a deep bass beat]
Yo, gather round, gather round—
The rent’s frozen, the buses are free,
But your paycheck’s lookin’ thinner than a vegan BLT.
We got Zohran with the plan, the man,
The tax-hike caravan—
Let’s vibe, let’s rhyme, let’s see if the city survives the time.

[Verse 1]
He came strutting down Queens in a cardigan vest,
Swearin’ $30 an hour gonna make you feel blessed.
Wavin’ Social Housing papers like a big ol’ broom,
Gonna sweep landlords clean outta every room.
Fare-free buses? Yeah, sounds real fine—
‘Til your subway smells like a pickled brine.
City-owned groceries slingin’ kale for a dime,
But your property tax climbin’ up the Empire climb.

[Verse 2]
He’s got baby baskets, universal Pre-K,
But who’s payin’ for this buffet every day?
A billion here, twenty billion there—
A surtax so high it’ll bleach your hair.
Congestion pricing while the street grids spin,
Weight-based car fees—fat SUVs won’t win.
And if you think you’ll keep your overtime pay,
Better hide it in the couch ‘fore it drifts away.

[Chorus]
Yo Zohran! What’s the plan?
Freeze the rent, tax the man,
Groceries free, buses too,
But who’s gonna pay when the bill comes due?
Oh Zohran! You the man!
Gonna test that taxin’ span,
Hope your dream don’t break the bank—
Welcome to the socialist prank!

[Verse 3]
He said, “Let’s build resilience hubs in every school,”
Solar panels so the woke kids feel cool.
Gender-affirming care, sixty-five million in cash,
While the tax base packs up and does the dash.
Debt relief for cabbies and a Green New Deal,
City Hall lookin’ like a socialist meal.
Got the landlords twitchin’ like a pigeon in heat,
As he draws up a plan for a rent-control beat.

[Verse 4]
Department of Community Safety in the house,
While the NYPD sulks quiet as a mouse.
A sanctuary city with open arms wide,
But millionaires slip through the Holland Tunnel side.
He’ll enforce ICC warrants if you dare to show,
But will he fix the potholes? Nobody knows.
Raise your fist, it’s the Zohran parade—
Hope your savings don’t shrivel like a leaf in the shade.

[Chorus]
Yo Zohran! What’s the plan?
Freeze the rent, tax the man,
Groceries free, buses too,
But who’s gonna pay when the bill comes due?
Oh Zohran! You the man!
Gonna test that taxin’ span,
Hope your dream don’t break the bank—
Welcome to the socialist prank!

[Bridge]
[echo effect]
Who gon’ fund the free rides?
Who gon’ build all them homes?
When the landlords tap out and the rich roll away,
Will utopia bloom or decay?
Riddle me this—
Is it justice, or just broke-city bliss?

[Chorus]
Yo Zohran! What’s the plan?
Freeze the rent, tax the man,
Groceries free, buses too,
But who’s gonna pay when the bill comes due?
Oh Zohran! You the man!
Gonna test that taxin’ span,
Hope your dream don’t break the bank—
Welcome to the socialist prank!

[Coda]
So light up the boroughs, let the slogans flow,
The city’s your canvas, your budget’s your foe.
If we run outta dollars, maybe we’ll just print more,
It’s the Zohranomics party—open every door.

[Ending]
[spoken to whispered]
And as the sun sets on New York’s skyline,
Ask yourself—
If everything’s free,
Are you truly rich, or just broke… together?
[Beat drops. Silence.]